Prepare for some feels (and maybe some boobage). When X was born almost 11 months ago (already?!), we struggled to breastfeed from the get go. Tongue tie, hypertonic muscles, and more caused me constant, excruciating pain. In my head was an anxiety-filled countdown until it was time for his next feeding. Sometimes, when the pain was too much, I would pump instead (though I never got much). In addition to the stress of feeding him, I had a rough recovery from birth.
I remember feeling like a failure the first time I gave him formula and then crying out of relief because it meant I didn’t have to go through the pain of breastfeeding. I remember pumping constantly throughout the night to keep my supply up. I remember the countless specialists we saw, friends I confided in, and times I broke down in front of Will. I remember the first time that I didn’t want to look at or be close to my own baby.
Thankfully, there exists a vast network of support! My OBGYN helped me have a healthy pregnancy, achieve the natural birth I had desired, and referred me to PT. An ARNP clipped X’s tongue tie and provided countless resources like referrals to PT, OT, and Craniosacral Therapy. Numerous lactation consultants and nurses helped us along the way too. I wasn’t sure I was going to make 3 days breastfeeding and we’re still going strong at 11 months! Thank you ladies- you all hold a very special place in my heart.
These pictures (taken by W) mean so much to me because I never thought they would be possible. I would go on to talk about my mom tribe and him but X would probably be in college before I finished. Needless to say, the support is out there. If you need help, don’t wait! This time is too short and too precious to not be able to enjoy it. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your little ones. Message me if you ever need encouragement- I’m always looking to expand my village. 🙂